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I just had a long conversation with Nudge. Very Long. Like 3 hours. I was masterful. Like Lincoln. On the phone.
It was like the decision to bring McClellan back for the second time.
I convinced her that Bif should run her blog while she is gone. No blogger takes a month off without subordinates stepping in. This is what I told her, Bif. You gotta step up. Nobody wants Johnny Rico running Future Townies. Bif, you gotta do this. Just one post every three days. She’ll be back.
I offered her Doom and Remus. She wanted Bif.
Just say yes.
If you have no problem, I’m giving her your email tomorrow.
Crank it, Motherfucker
Look inside and you’ll see
I’m jus sayin
Pompeii
This thread is dedicated to
1) Felipe Massa
2) Sol
3) Thorn
(Yarra, I tried to pick the best part, but I’ll change it in a heart-beat if you can do me better)
As usual, a woman is responsible for the nation’s deepest, darkest (no pun intended) problems. But she is not just any woman. She is Portugese. This suggests a communist conspiracy. The portugese have long-standing ties with terrorists.
I don’t have any facts yet, but based on gut instinct, I would say we need to round up all portugese women and quarantine them. Spellchecker is telling me I can’t spell portugese. WTF. I’m American. It’s spelled anyway I want to.
Regardless, we need to keep women off planes. The future of our children is at stake.
To be clear, I’m not advocating an invasion of Portugal. Don’t be silly. We don’t have the troops. At least not until the surge in Astan works. But let us shun and ostracise (sp?) these vile people.
Again. It is not about Portugal. It is about terrorism and women.
In the meantime, if you want to help your country -
KEEP WOMEN AWAY FROM PHONES. They just are not advanced enough to handle modern technology.
I’ll admit, I just chose a random Portugese model for the photo. But C’mon. Her name is Adriana Rocha. Even on Facebook these bitches try to torture me. They are relentless.
Here is a link to an artcile with the actual call:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/30/us/30gates.html?_r=1&hp
Judge for yourself.
Forget her globes. Look at that thumb. No woman that age should have a thumb that long. It is obviously fake. You could hide two ounces of Semtex in that thing. That’s enough to make the tail-fin fall off any Airbus A320.
Ms. Whalen’s statements contradict the police report filed by Sgt. James Crowley, who said Ms. Whalen told him outside Mr. Gates’s home that she had seen “what appeared to be two black males with backpacks” on the porch of the yellow single-family house.
Not racist? NOT RACIST!
Please. She clearly hates hippies.
♥ • ♥ • ♥
OK. [taking the Jon Stewart hat off]
All jokes aside. Here is another quote from the real Helen of Troy, Lucia Whalen:
“The criticism hurt me as a person but also hurt the community of Cambridge.”
On Wednesday, she said she hoped that with the tapes out, “people can see that I tried to be careful,” adding that she never thought that her words “would be analyzed by an entire nation.”
“I respect the Cambridge police as well as Professor Gates and I hope my decision to speak out does not add any controversy to what has been a difficult situation,”
A man would never have said those things. That shit is presidential. Again, I don’t know the facts. But based on what i know, I would vote for Whalen for any office in this country today. She is a smart person. Did a lawyer coach her? Who gives a fuck. She’s got my vote.
Let the assholes have their “beer.” I’ll take Whalen to lunch or tea anytime. After Nudge, of course.
Whalen is a real American. She is a real hero.
But she can never be a man. And only men can be real men of genius.
Obviously Camp David needs to be renamed Camp Heineken.
Nudge requests ZK take the lead in late-summer offensive.
Nudge, the prolific extrapolator of the modern human trajectory, is unplugging her keyboard and embarking on a hiatus from blogdom, whereupon she will pursue an assortment of worldly passions. Salute!
Taleb speaks of the “anti-library”.
What a wonderful notion, the idea that one’s prodigious collection of unread books constitutes evidence of that which a person is aware he does not know, at least with great specificity — a form of knowledge in itself, arguably. Thus, the metes and bounds of a monkey’s ignorance take on a tangible and ironically useful physical manifestation.
This has been a busy and simultaneously lazy time for all of us. And it is summer. It is difficult to pin down anyone this time of year, except for the insane, so roll with the gift hiatus or seasonal windfall, if you will, from the ordinary regular distractions.
Clear some space to think. Don’t worry. More clutter will take its place soon enough.
Occasionally I ask myself why I am still featuring this website. I mean. It is pure awesomeness.
http://www.holmes-i-presume.com/9601/10722.html
If I had money, I would send it to Holmes in an armored HMMV(I can never spell that).
If I had the use of a platoon (a squad even) of the 75th Rangers, I’d send them to Holmes for musical research only.
Dude! I just had an idea.
Anybody that doesn’t worship Van Halen (before 1985) is a communist.
BTW – Bif, you have to find a song named Terra Firma for me. I was getting my consumer on in Gap Yesterday, didn’t buy anything, asked for the CD, and the saleswoman told me it was some corporate stuff. Liked piped in. Gag me with a spoon.
I’m un-stickying Bif’s recent post just temporarily. I just wanted to say this. I’ll re-sticky it real soon.
I don’t need or want to say shit about Felipe Massa. I’m an Aetheist/Catholic who knows god does shit for a reason. Or that there is no reason for this shit. That it is random. I personally feel comfortable with a “Black Swan” interpretation of events. I believe I’ve introduced the F1 community to Taleb. If I leave here tomorrow, make sure my wiki entry says that.
I saw what I saw. There are different interpretations. I have no explanation. I don’t understand how the spring got there.
What everybody knows is that I believe Massa to be the best driver in the world. I hope he he does what is right. For the last year he has been the COOLEST driver in the world. As far as I am concerned he won the championship in Brazil on the final lap in 2008. Hamilton will never top Massa’s start-to-first-corner moves.
If God isn’t looking out for Massa, then the alternatives are too fucked-up to contemplate.
There are no steroids in F1.
Massa suffered a fractured skull after being hit by a spring from another car during qualifying for the Hungarian Grand Prix. He underwent emergency surgery and was taken out of an artificially-induced coma on Monday. He has since been awake, chatting to close friends and family members, who have gathered at his bedside.
“My expectation is that he would walk out of the hospital on his own,” Peter Bazso, the medical director of Budapest’s AEK Hospital told Hungarian television channel M1. “If his recovery continues at this pace, I would not rule out that he could leave within ten days. He’s spending more and more time awake, talking to family and friends.”
Despite the Brazilian’s encouraging progress, Bazso has urged caution, revealing that Massa would continue to be monitored closely in intensive care. “I would like to point out that although he’s recovering, this is not the end of the story, he is still in a life-threatening condition,” he said. “Of course, the danger is decreasing by the day.”
Massa’s wife, his parents, his brother and his friend and manager Nicolas Todt all spent Monday night at the hospital. Former Ferrari boss Jean Todt paid a visit during the course of Tuesday, as did Ferrari team principal Stefano Domenicali.
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