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Like People Don’t Actually Get It.
It’s not weird. This is People.
Hello! Hello? Hello! No Response. This is why Dave and I get along so well.
We have been observing this for DECADES.
Hello! Hellooooooooooo!
No Response. Sponse. Sponse. Sponse. ponse. onse. nse. se.e..
My only question is of payback. Are attempts at English translation gonna compute to harder rubbing and sucking on the dingle dangle in more pleasurable ways for longer times. She’s mine. She loves me. Stick your tongue out and we can work it out. Work it around. Awe Yeah!
Never say anything nasty about my KATYA. You Do , you’re Dead. Katya is the most awesome thing that GOD ever created. So STFU. Yeah. You git it
Rule #1 about Kayta – I hear any shit, that’s it fur you
Rule #2 – Try me
Maashtur City. Eegh. Serious. Let’s do Karkand. Your a faggot at Karkand. Whatever. I’ll let Stephanie and Megan and Ashley dedcide.
You don’t want my opinion. I’ll take Mashtuur …. and The Queens….
Just watch it on You Tube. I’m the last douche to get this simplicity. I always am. When I was 12, the hottest twelve-year-old wanted to bang me and was my “girlfriend”… fuck… I should tell this story. The simplicity was simply brilliant. In retrospect. But had I done it, I wouldn’t be me. It’s like I’m waiting for the perfect ass.
Some heavy shit is about to go down. I can just feel it.
When Season 3 (the latest season) of Mad Men started the fanboys and (now) fanmammas (my term) talked about how it was 1963 and they had skipped ahead from season 2 and left a lot of stuff unsaid and unfilmed.
Well. With two episodes left, the last episode ended on Halloween. What does that say? I was kind of guessing that the Kennedy assassination would happen early, like around episode 2. No. These idiots pussied out big time.
The fans of this show absofucking love it. But they are idiots raised on ads and sucking ads every moment of their lives. They suck the show. They blow the show. The show sucks. A decent writer would have had the Russians shoot Kennedy by episode 4. We are into episode 12 now. 22 days left. Only two episodes. , or two weeks real time, so 14 days.
How you gonna play it? They could really cop out and play it til next season, or not deal with it at all and surprise everybody but me.
What are the bookies sayin they will do? I say they do neither. They flub it. Matt Weiner is nothing special. He worked on the Sopranos. That’s his claim to fame. This is a money play.
The Atlantic (in its latest issue) compares Hamm to Brando and McQueen. Excuse me? I’ve watched every episode. Hamm has never made a movie anybody has heard of. I’d fuck him if I was Brittany Spears. He’s that cute and vacant. I saw him on a talk show. Tell me there is something behind those stupid quarterback eyes. Hamm is probably more of a mess that Don Draper. He certainly isn’t any smarter or wittier. (Those are the writers, duh).
And Number 2 – Tucker Max, supposedly the most confident douche on the planet drops his website for quote-unquote non-financial reasons the day after it is totally apparent a $6 million dollar film won’t make a dollar above $1.5 million (I can’t wait for Matt Taibbi to write this story in Rolling Stone).
Yeah, Tucker. It must suck owing $4.5 million to people you were telling 3 months ago that you would be buying a G4 personal jet. I hope they shatter your legs into so many pieces … you fill in the cute …. you fill in the cute English term.
It was obvious it wouldn’t work. You decided on the bait-hype-and-bait rout. I said you were crazy and it would never work. You banned everything I ever wrote.
I’m gonna find you and I’m gonna fuck you. I’m spiritual now. I’m at peace with myself, my family, and the world. Jesus won’t stop me from fucking you with a baseball bat. I wanna see you bleed. I just want a little fun.
The suck thing for you, Tucker, is that I’m not the only one who would gain perverse joy in seeing you tortured.
You are indeed the greatest douche who has ever lived. How did that narcissism thing work out for you, by the way?
And I just got the entire QOTSA Discocraphy including all live, rare, and B-Sides.
And Katya makes me want to just explode.
And my Brother is talking to me.
And Trier rips of Tarkovsky and nobody notices except me.
And this woman I know thanks me in a personal card with no phone number or address of any kind. Like WTF? What? What! You think we’ll meet in another life? Or that I’ll waste half my life sleuthing you only to find out you didn’t give a shit and wrote those to everybody. (I’ll ask Katya for advice on this one – I’ll turn it to my advantage – but you knew that, right? – that’s why you did it – cuz yur a woman)
And Dave Grohl, Josh Homme and John Paul Jones (Yes. John Paul Jones) have formed a power-trio. Called Those Wretched Vultures.
I’ve been listening to a lot of Josh Homme. He’s OK. But OK in a good way.
Are you fuckin kiddin me? If Ozzy joins the band, I will shave off all my hair and endorse Obama’s war plan. I swear to god.
QOTSA are one of those rare bands where if you like like them and you are listening, the volume knob can only move up until the world is deaf. You cannot listen to this shit with your wife in the car, with the windows rolled down. Heavy medication or alcohol only makes things worse. I _______ sober, windows up, 6 am, clear day, secluded highway, 120 mph. I’m not “recommending” anything. I’m jus sayin. If you like to listen to your art loud, I personally haven’t seen anything better. I’m afraid of QOTSA in a way I would never have dreamt of with Metallica a decade ago.
I’m trying to find the tune. It is from the Live Amsterdam performance. It is about 10 minutes long. It is like the best of Jeff Beck, Roy Buchanan, Dazed and Confused and Hendrix doing live Red House. Yeah. I think there is a reason Jones will work with the guy.
Recursion is probably not the right word for wot I’m sayin. I’m not sure wot I’m sayin. Still trying to understand it myself. But self-reference figures. Tucker Max’s demise yesterday got me thinking. Thinking hard. And working.
For many years now I have been not so interested in what certain people say in their movie reviews, but what movies they review. You will often here the term fire-hose invoked when people talk about information. I can take… nevermind… at least 8, okay. I read many reviews .
If A.O. Scott actually reviews Antichrist and doesn’t like it, you know it’s a winner.
[I backtest my theories - I saw Knocked Up with Seth Rogen written by Judd Apatow yesterday and read every review by Filthy Critic on Apatow during bathroom breaks - I know what the fuck I am talking about]
I have Antichrist on DVD and am watching it right now. Because I was put here by God.
Holy Fucking Shit!
Lars Van Trier is actually ripping off Tarkovsky. Am I the first to see this? He’s using the exact same soundtrack. Tell me I am the first. I mean with Trier it can’t be “ripping off” it is only an “ode” or whatever. Like Titian and Tintoretto and Veronese. Oooooooh, Katya. If I wasn’t seeing this with my own eyes I wouldn’t believe it. This is the shit, Baby.
…
OMFG
Trier is 100% ripping off Solaris. Nice
What The Doormouse said.
Good stuff. Remember this:
Doorman is God. Yeah. Doorman is God. If you can remember that and spew it at appropriate moments you will have a great life, TRUST ME. “DOORMAN IS GOD”
I Love You
I will probably erase this post soon. I just wanted to say that.
I’m naked in the rain howling i love you i wish you would want me forever
I’m a douche. I’m a douche. Just forget all this. I know nothing about baseball. Pettite is good. That’s all I know. I’m out. See you on the flip side.
No excuse. I’m Toast. Nobody is prettier than you. Nobody. Just look at you.
The eat a banana is actually an inside joke, between me and Slicky, so STFU you SQUARE.
Andy Pettite is going to Heaven. I don’t like to predict. But this boy brings tears to my eyes. Here is a real American.
Andy Pettite. (can somebody get me the actual spelling?)
Can we just all agree that Andy Pettite is the best pitcher ever?
No. He is.
I was watching the Angels Yankees game tonight and I’m thinking this motherfucker has been around FOREVER and nobody talks about him. How come? Why?
I don’t know what happened in the 9th inning. It was close. Pettite left in the 7th. But if the Yankees won he will set the record for series clinches above (Douchebag) Clemmens and Catfish Hunter at 5.
We are gonna cut out their guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks!
Your best friend’s face. Holding our position. Kick him in the ass. I shoveled shit in Louisiana. Anytime. Anywhere, That’s all.
This sounds like the actor, George Scott. I’d really love to hear actual Patton.
Dien Bien Phu
I hold Andrew Exum personally responsible for any American who dies in Afghanistan. Starting October 26th.
Personally. You Motherfucker
The first pick was Zeppelin Kashmir at Earl’s court circa 75
Next up, The Clash
Wrong! This one is for Katya. Achilles Last Stand.
The most not liked Zeppelin Album ever. My Favorite. When Page was truly conflicted. Guitar Armies. Pure Originality. 1976. The year that never was. FUCKING LOVE IT.
Going to bed. Holmes and Bif take over, please.
Anybody seen Doom lately? I know. I know. I’ve been missing lately. I have no idea what’s going on. You crazy mutherfuckers.
One big advantage I have is that I’m going to have to explain Led Zeppelin to a Russian.
R U Fucking Kidding Me.
I have worked all my life for this moment. I’m ready for defeat. The first time.
No. I have trenches dug. Looks like the Somme. Or Verdun. On the German side. Yeah. It’s brutal. I took props from the gouks.
You don’t wanna be here. Trust moi
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