Who’s the Best?

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. That gasoline smell. Smells like Victory.

You are like a hurricane. There’s calm in your eye.

Slow day. Saturday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POuIxaDqGLY

It was Mom whom told me that was Billy Preston on the original. [How the FUCK would she know that? what were the circumstances? I have no idea. DAMN! That is one good Mom].

I knew from an early age this was some good shit. You couldn’t even find it. It was only on Black and Blue. They only broke the dust out in 1999. I have it on vinyl. I stole it circa 1990. I had a girlfriend come back into town. She wanted me to stay with her at a friend’s, but she wouldn’t fuck me. So I stole all her friend’s good records. The Blondies’s are the best. I woulda never bought that shit. But they sound awesome now on my MAINTAINED Phonograph player. I still love love you, B., hope all that shit down in New Prleans worked out for you. You had a fine ass, though you always hated it. You were ahead of your time… Remember when I ate all those Quaaludes at TT the Bear’s?

I’m really sorry about that. That’ll never happen again. I’ve never apologized fully. Like not in the Tiger Woods style. I’m really, really sorry. I’m so sorry I continually tell this story.

We did go on to have a very fruitful relationship, didn’t we. It was at least another year before you decided you were crazy.

It wasn’t me. it was the Quaaludes. Remember The B-52′s at Rd Rocks. The cocaine. The party at [one of] the Eagles’ house on that mountain. The little kid and her father with the cowboy hat. Your beat up honda or Toyota?

I will never forget that shit as long as I live.

Your house. The ultimate Denver Frank Lloyd Wright rip-off. How we lived there all alone for two weeks and you for months, trying to dream up ways to amuse ourselves. As the First Iraq war started and I was followed it like I was possessed. Every tank, every unit. I highlighted and clipped and stored and processed and analyzed 20,000 words a day out of every newspaper I could find. I still have all that shit.

I just wish I had photos.

I miss you and I love you. I always loved you. I know you loved me. It just didn’t work out. God had other plans. Peace, Baby

Experimenting with Hydroxyzine Pamoate. Under labaroratory conditions. Seriously. It made my dick shrivel at once, but I was able to jerk off about three hours later. This is a very strange drug. If a Doctor prescribes this to you, I would hold him in suspicion. I have tons of evidence. I’m not telling the wjole story from the last two days. But I am keeping a real-time (written) diary… Not as impressive as I initially thought. That might have been the Xanax and Soma (cal, calisprosdoisomthing, I forget, I’ll get it right the next time I steal a couple)

Where is my Bunn? I cannot go into battle without my rear-guard expert. I see I have my Bif. Left flank as always. I’ll take care of the right.

Watching Polanski’s 1965 Repulsion right now. Sick of the Olympics. Don’t give a fuck if the US beats Canada in Hockey tomorrow. We already beat them- number one. Number two. WE KICKED ASS. ASSES. We are the Champions. No time for losers. CUZ WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS.

Although the Gook Bitches, or (as I sometimes refer to them) the Korean and Japanese and Chinese Ladies – they, they, they were awesome and were rewarded accordingly. They were very attractive as well. Fuck Rochette. Lose the whiteness and learn how to skate. Haha. You lose.

The Olympics are over. But I learned some things that nobody taught me, ever, because the cunts that run the networks have never understood sports or what is right in life. They still get it wrong.

Curling is stupid and dull. Tne UN and NATO should round up everybody that has ever engaged in curling, put them in cattle-cars, torture them, then send them to the Gitmo, then put them back on cattle cars to San Francisco. Put them on the same freighters that brought in Chines immigrants and send them to Tinian or one of those islands we tested the Hydro bombs on. Let them try to survive on an air-dropped ton of human feces for a week – so that we may observe how they handle it. Then test various bio-weapons on them. Then let new F-18 pilots use them as target practice with dummy bombs made of wood )(that should hurt from 5000 feet) until they are all dead.

The only true sport (which the networks have hidden from us for decades) is biathlon. Biathlon is the balls and had I known about it when I was a kid, there maybe would be a chance an American would have even scored this year.

My kids are going to be biathletes….Uuuummm, (but, JR, don’t you mean, ummmm….)

Shut the fuck up