David Letterman quipped that the reason Egypt caught everybody by surprise was because the foreign press was too busy covering Hollywood. That’s right. Because the American people wanna know about Justin Bieber.

Too many people learn about war with no inconvenience to themselves. They read about Verdun or Stalingrad without comprehension, sitting in a comfortable armchair, with their feet beside the fire, preparing to go about their business the next day, as usual. One should really read such accounts under compulsion, in discomfort, considering oneself fortunate not to be describing the events in a letter home, writing from a hole in the mud. One should read about war in the worst circumstances, when everything is going badly, remembering that the torments of peace are trivial, and not worth any white hairs. Nothing is really serious in the tranquillity of peace; only an idiot could be really disturbed by a question of salary. One should read about war standing up, late at night, when one is tired, as I am writing about it now, at dawn, while my asthma attack wears off. And even now, in my sleepless exhaustion, how gentle and easy peace seems!

Those who read about Verdun or Stalingrad, and expound theories later to friends, over a cup of coffee, haven’t understood anything. Those who can read such accounts with a silent smile, smile as they walk, and feel lucky to be alive.

-The Forgotten Soldier by Guy Sajer, pg. 223

Enough already about Egypt! Holy Jesus. It’s an Arab Muslim country with too many people. Nothing is going to get better there. Real Democracy or not. It’s not East Germany. They are not our ally. Mubarak may have been on our side, but they never did anything to help us. And for God’s sake – things aren’t that bad there now. They have a GDP that is only slightly lower than China’s.

The” uprising” (nobody has any idea what to call it) is what always happens historically when things reach a point of sucking just enough that people have nothing to lose by taking to the street. Mubarak is too old to do much. Ten years ago he would have stood a chance but apparently he just fell asleep.

Three things about Egypt. 1) Nobody gives a fuck. 2) Nothing is going to change. 3) Saudi Arabia is not scared. Ninja… Please. So maybe I might want to elaborate on those things, but not now. I’ve got important things to talk about, like electric cars and oil… Aaaaagh! Hijacked again!

There was a good article recently in the New Yorker by Peter Maass about the American assault on Baghdad and the toppling of Saddam’s statue in Firdan square. The gist of it was that this event was not orchestrated by the Pentagon but would not have happened without the presence of cameras and a bandwagonning western media that distorted reality by framing and cropping the images.

The initial talk regarding Egypt and the White house centered on which side Obama should take. Today a headline in the NYT [last Tuesday] stated that events had moved at a speed that left the White House in the dust. The correct response from the White house is, of course, to do absolutely nothing. Don’t take sides. Don’t get involved at all. Don’t even think about it. Because Egypt doesn’t matter.

What happens in Egypt won’t affect anybody outside of Egypt in any appreciable way.

And no, Saudi Arabia and those in the US who are concerned with The Kingdom are not “frightened” as James Howard Kunstler would like us to believe. Hitchens’ piece in Slate is about how dictators in these countries keep making the mistake of treating their slaves like fools. But the Saudi people aren’t fools. They have it good – even the women. Compared to Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and its small neighbors to the East are like paradise compared to Egypt and in a way that Democracy ain’t gonna improve.

Nobody gives a shit. This isn’t the Berlin Wall or Soviet Russia. This is a poor, backwards, confused country whose only achievements in the modern era are losing a bunch of wars to Israel. And seriously – the Suez canal isn’t really that important. Its use is probably of more use to Egypt that the rest of the world. Yeah – you can probably make an argument about all the trade that goes through it, but the reality is that the only thing vital passing through it is oil and that can be diverted around Africa. Europe just needs to get more of it’s crude from West Africa, Russia, and from the Iraqi pipeline. Let the Gulf oil head towards Asia.

But if you really do want to think some more about Egypt, try to keep it to this:

End US Aid To Egypt

WAR NERD: SPARTACUS LIVE ON AL JAZEERA!
By Gary Brecher

[the War Nerd piece is a bunch of bullshit because Egypt isn't a war and Gary doesn't know what he's talking about, but it's fun to read]

The goal of a Testudo advance would be getting close enough to use your gladii, the long knives the Romans relied on for serious slaughter. I wish we could see the moment when these guys struck the enemy formation and dropped their sheet-metal shields for close combat—if they did. Just as likely they faded under rock bombardment.

We’ll never know, unfortunately, because the producers at Al J decided to waste my time by cutting to Ban ki Moon, the Korean who fronts for the UN these days and the man whose bland flat face could put a weasel on speed to sleep. He comes on to say he’s “deeply concerned” about the rioting. Yeah, me too: deeply concerned your little sermon is keeping me from seeing how the Testudo turns out. What’s the point of these sermonettes anyway? Did anybody expent Ban to say, “I rove dese liots! Anybody give me five to one on Mubalak?” We all know it’s his job to tsk-tsk, we get it, why waste riot time on it?

He’s not even any good at acting concerned. He looks bored, which is how he always looks. You want to see a concerned Korean, try coming up two cents short at your local AM/PM minimart. Ban’s cousin looking at me like I’m a fattened-up Antichrist.

The only interesting thing about Ban-ky’s speech is the way he tilts it toward the demonstrators: “Any attacks on peaceful demonstrators is unacceptable.” Now that was interesting. I love the guys rioting in Cairo, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve seen the UN get the vapors over much smaller and milder riots than these. Why are they so worried about the demonstrators this time around?

OK. Superbowl time.