66 Replies to “Only Those South of Heaven”

  1. But lo, the bold éclair, sir, is, sir, whence. Thou might checkest thine underpants. Beware the yule log. Sir.

  2. Howard, err, I mean Johnny, if you spent moron time over here and less making all those excellent HFB rants amongst the clusterfuckers, The World Would Be a Better Place for All of Us Simps!!

    Who the F is Jules Varden–Holmes?

    thal, welcome back. Happy 2009, dude.

  3. FYI, OTEC seems to be getting some harder looks. I don’t have any links, sorry, I just talk to da man. He carries nitroglycerin tablets in his pockets, so that’s how close we are to making/not making breakthroughs.

  4. The World’s Shortest Fairy Tale

    Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl ‘Will you marry me?’ The girl said, ‘NO!’ And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

    THE END

  5. Peak George…

    Happy New Year from ground zero of the CFN, ClusterBustards–Luv ya all.

    Here’s to the real empire–ZuluKilo!

    XXOO, EE

  6. i buff ye tattoos to news a year, me pajoomies, on shonder breasts it crests the reflected light of twin moons. quench hostforth to differentiations. look to the interplay tweenst light and shadow. now there’s a route that gps could steer to a fruition if only it understood the math required. so, we’re on our own.

    Yeah, wrote that twice. It’s still stupid.

    Doom, got a garage space I can rent? I can provide a beneficent light show. Jerry Garcia Retrospective.

  7. ya, eric clapton excites my my ass kicking responce almost as much as robert plant.

    does there have to be a reason why?

  8. maybe it’s the british accent or something. but it dosen’t happen with say, eric idle or sean connery. maybe they’re just pussys crying out for an ass whipping on some subconsious level. like when a woman waers certain types of shoes, you know she needs to get fucked. only there’s some yet popularly unidentified aspect to certain british muscians. don’t know, i just know what i feel.

  9. see, this guy just makes me laugh. i don’t want to kick his ass at all. he’s a brit. but he does wear come fuck me shoes. but i don’t really want to fuck him either. he’s just kinda funny.

  10. i just woke up, half a day already into 2009. bertrand russell was right. today’s lows are directly proportional to last night’s highs. jssayin.

    dave, astute! meine grosse bitte herren.

    jules, you’re the real thing, poet. yule log skidmarks, indeed.

  11. G’Morning thal et al. Dave, I can only say that maybe Plant and Clapton have a certain buying into their own hype that perhaps (and perhaps justifiably) offends thee. With songs like Heaven, he probably does deserve at least a few lashes.

    I just finished 2.5 miles (tipping, did you run this am?)… out with the old toxins and in with the new and all that. Actually, more than anything else it’s about getting fresh air and some peace and quiet. Things can only become more addled from here.

  12. On Clapton,

    I heard he wrote that song after his toddler daughter fell off a balcony of a high rise and fell to her death. I know this because of a weird thing that happened. Years ago I was playing pool with some guys, arguing that Clapton was not real blues, that he had not known real hardship. The next morning we heard the news report that she had fallen. The guys were so pissed with me. Go figure.

  13. MOU, I feel very ashamed of myself right now. I guess just about anything taken out of context can be sliced and diced to great (and calamitous) critical effect. But I still don’t care much for most of EC’s post-Derek and the Dominos output.

  14. Tipping, Holmes,

    I have been running on a regular basis for a little over 2 weeks. I am up to 4-5 miles a day, though I switch up/down the pace constantly. Today my hubby and I walked 4. I had my first long day, seven miles, on Dec 28. I have lost 4-5 pounds already. I have pretty good momentum going and glad to be back at it. I let about 10 pounds creep on because of the sedentary nature of my work right now. I am not very coordinated, but I have been in shape in the past. It is surprising what the body remembers, it comes back quick. Once I drop the weight, I may cut back on the cardio some and take it to the weight room. Hooah!

    Holmes,

    As I look at my post I see I assumed a lot. You may have meant Stairway to Heaven/Plant. You were a gentleman about it if I indeed got that wrong. I think the Clapton song is of interest ONLY if you have the context.

  15. MOU, good to hear that you’re staying active and you’ve made a jump start on your goal already. Hooah!

    The weird coincidence with this Plant/Clapton discussion is that they both had young children die under freakishly unexpected circumstances. Plant’s first son, Karac, died of a stomach infection at age 6 in 1977. Clapton’s son didn’t die until 1991, much later in the artist’s career. Could this be a relevant nexus of personal tragedy with respect to drawing dave’s ire? Probably not. (IMHO, Backless in 1978 was Clapton’s last semi-decent album. Jusayin.)

  16. From Wikpedia:
    Clapton was born in Ripley, Surrey, England, the son of 16-year-old Patricia Molly Clapton and Edward Walter Fryer, a 24-year-old soldier from Montreal, Quebec, Canada; the two were not married. Fryer shipped off to war prior to Clapton’s birth and then returned to Canada. Clapton grew up with his grandmother, Rose, and her second husband Jack, believing they were his parents and that his mother was his older sister. Their surname was Clapp, which has given rise to the widespread but erroneous belief that Clapton’s real surname is Clapp (Reginald Cecil Clapton is the name of Rose’s first husband, Eric Clapton’s paternal grandfather). Years later, his mother married another Canadian soldier, moved to Canada and left young Eric with his grandparents.

    Besides substance abuse, Clapton’s life has been touched by the deaths of fellow musicians and friends such as Jimi Hendrix, George Harrison and Stevie Ray Vaughan. But it was the death of Conor – his son by Italian TV actress Lori

    Del Santo – that was the hardest for him to get over. The boy fell to his death from a New York apartment building. Clapton poured his grief into the ethereal “Tears in Heaven,” a Grammy winner for record and song of the year of 1992.

    “For a good deal of the time I was in just shock and not able to really look at what took place or even look at how I felt about it,” Clapton said of his son’s death. “I didn’t consciously go into denial about the loss of my son, but I wasn’t able to really assimilate it for a long time. And now I’m a fairly good place to be able to understand all of that.”
    ——————————————————————————-

    Just about a year ago, while I was still the asexual EEofDC (which may or may not be relevant), I posted links to the “Concert for George” on CFN similar to two of the links above.

    Near the end of my TV watching days, I had just happened on it and was blown away by the range of interpretations of his music and the prolific amount of work that George Harrison had produced in his career.

    Also fascinating to me were the incredibly talented range of muscians performing in the concert–including the whole segment with the Indian orchestra and Anoushka Shankar on Sitar–and the fact that here was Eric Clapton, who had stolen George’s wife Patti Boyd decades ago (ultimately another failed relationship for Eric) and who had obviously reconciled with him, leading the way.

    It was an amazing concert and message and what I wanted to say about the new year before us.

  17. “But I still don’t care much for most of EC’s post-Derek and the Dominos output.” –Holmes

    Holmes-

    Sometimes when incredibly prolific artists of one sort or another sober up, they lose their edge (or they think they lose their edge). Who here in the good ole USA really wants to hear about someone who has sobered up, is incredibly successful and happily married with three kids?

    The tabloids and main slime media just love watching the decline and fall–interesting that Bunn posted Belushi who went down in flames.

  18. Doom, I thought the Younger Dryas event was caused by the sudden draining of ancient Lake Agassiz? That this rush of water out through the St. Lawrence inundated the North Atlantic with a large freshwater lense, and essentially shut down the thermohaline circulation belt. And hence the abrupt climate change event.

    Yes I was just reading over at CFN. You mentioned an asteroid impact. Perhaps Younger Dryas is not understood as I thought or there are various theories about the cause?

  19. Speaking of warm water colapse

    The movie The Day After Tomorrow was on last week and I had to make this quick rant

    As for the end of the movie when they show the snow covered planet … I want to know who the fuck was the stupid ass joker of a science guy who help out on that? Bill Ney the Science guy?

    Hello McFly what happens when you take all that water from the oceans and freeze it? Florida and Italy are still going to look like poorly made shoes? WTF?

    Ok I feel better back to drinking

  20. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/01/AR2009010102035.html?hpid=topnews

    On the campaign trail, Obama rarely talked about how growing up in Hawaii influenced his personal or political values. The politician’s narrative has always been firmly rooted in Chicago, where he got his start as a community organizer and cut his teeth in the city’s rough-and-tumble politics.

    But in one set of remarks in 2004, he told a Honolulu audience of his love for his home state.

    “No place else could have provided me with the environment, the climate, in which I could not only grow but also get a sense of being loved,” he said. “There is no doubt that the residue of Hawaii will always stay with me, and that it is a part of my core, and that what’s best in me, and what’s best in my message, is consistent with the tradition of Hawaii.”

  21. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/01/AR2009010101490.html?hpid=moreheadlines

    “This is a big idea,” said Douglas J. Kennett, an archaeologist at the University of Oregon and the lead author of a paper on the Younger Dryas impact hypothesis published today in the journal Science.

    The hypothesis has been hotly contested, as would be expected for a catastrophic tale that, so far, lacks anything as compelling as a crater. Nor are there signs of deformation in rock debris that is a signature of the massive impact that, 65 million years ago, apparently wiped out the dinosaurs.

    But Kennett and his colleagues say that they have found these diamonds at the layer of sediment that marks the start of the Younger Dryas. They are not found above or below that layer.

  22. Bif, those are some really great pictures of Pattie and George on her website — thanks for the link.

    EE, I’m not sure what I can add except to say that a lot of creative people aren’t exactly super good at “normal person” functioning kinds of things. And they of course tend to be experimental by nature. Sprinkle a dose of absent father into the already incendiary mix, fuel the flames with preternatural talent, and prepare yourself to see some fancy-grade stage-assisted approval seeking ensue. One last thing… certain types of artists/people seem to do their best work during critical intervals of their life. That these intervals may also, by coincidence or otherwise, coincide with intervals of self-destructive living sometimes can’t be helped.

  23. Holmes, yeah, and those candid polaroids of Clapton and Ron Wood.

    Good one EE.

    OK so there are at least two theories on the table.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Younger_Dryas

    “The prevailing theory holds that the Younger Dryas was caused by a significant reduction or shutdown of the North Atlantic thermohaline circulation in response to a sudden influx of fresh water from Lake Agassiz and deglaciation in North America.”

    “There is evidence that the so-called Younger Dryas impact event, 12,900 years ago in North America could have initiated the Younger Dryas cooling.”

    Who knows, it appears two extraordinary events may have occurred during the Younger Dryas stadial. Not only do we get hammered by an asteroid but a lake bigger than the state of California also suddenly dumps 9500 cubic kilometers of water into the St. Lawrence basin. Exciting times. Migrate fast or perish

  24. It seems all the rock stars had the hots for Pattie Boyd…. Harrison, Clapton, Ron Wood, Mick Jagger, Uncle Remus.

  25. Bif said: “Doom, I thought the Younger Dryas event was caused by the sudden draining of ancient Lake Agassiz.”

    Yes, that was the former story (actually, a hypothesis) to account for the climate change. It’s a nice story, but it’s probably wrong. I saw Jim Kennett’s and colleague’s latest data at the fall AGU meeting. It’s an impressive data set. Like I said, my prediction is the books on this topic will all have to be rewritten.

  26. I’ll also go out on a limb and say (though probably not the first to) that the two YD significant events are related as cause (impact) and effect (rapid melting and the draining of Lake Agassiz). They showed evidence for soot from the impact burning darkening the glacial ice in the glacial ice sheets up in Greenland.

    Change the albedo by Painting It Black: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXwPLovHekw&feature=PlayList&p=7BAF984CD13EC10A&playnext=1&index=10

  27. eh, i’ve had dozens of kids fall off roofs porches, out of trees and shit, and get killed. you don’t see me getting all weepy about it. when a song wins a grammy, dosen’t that mean it sucks?

    they’re just pansies. maybe because of a butterfly in the amazon rainforest.

  28. Don’t know about you knocking pansies dave. They kinda look like assholes.

    Even mean assholes:

    Perhaps Plant and Clapton are colorful assholes. I know how important it is to get closure on this.

  29. Hey all. Thanks for setting me straight on the daughter thing. I did not look it up, just went from my memory of the event. You gotta understand something, I knew it all in my twenties! :-) It seems I know so much less now than I did then :-)

  30. fucking Amazon butterfies, stirring shit up, let’s go there dave and kill a few of them troublemakers, maybe save the planet and keep a few pansy rockstars from wetting themselves.

  31. oh, and did i remember to wish everyone a happy but only sustainably prosperous New Year? if not, happy, happy!

  32. St. Bif,

    I think you are being north-o-centric. If you orient west and you look at Florida under those conditions, I’d say Cuba is gonna be fucked. Limp is relative. If we gave Florida Viagra, where would things go from there, hummmm?

    Of course, I am a Floridian. I defend them because I know they are real dicks.

  33. Yeah but who hasn’t fucked Cuba. Or been fucked by Florida. Florida is all about Viagra. Its the peninsula of love.

  34. Oh well. Rats. Doom, I was rooting for the glacial lake gone wild hypothesis. You could probably tell.

    Hey speaking of asteroids, check out this asteroid damage:

  35. Missoula floods. It happens again and again.
    Big geology, huger of human effects. Watch the catasrophe.

  36. yes, Bif, those waves definitely qualify as a megatsunami. Nice graphics. The twin towers date that movie. Note that they apparently survive the wave attack, a bit worse for wear, as they also did King Kong, earlier.

  37. “It seems all the rock stars had the hots for Pattie Boyd….” –St. Bif

    Yah… no accounting for taste IMHO. Billy Preston kept his distance. ; ^ } Watched it all from the sidelines. (Did ya catch him playing keyboards with the Stones in Star, Star?)

  38. EE, in the 1950s my family went to Las Vegas and we got to see/hear Nat King Cole and Patti Page do their nightclub acts. I thought Nat would never run out of songs, I mean, he was good, but enough already. Two drink minimum, and I had the Shirley Temples. Vegas was Hell on Earth for those under 21.

  39. ya, assholes/vaginas, both kind of serve the same purpose. i never thought of that before though. thanks for pionting that out mou.

  40. carla bruni, isn’t she sarkozy’s wife? multitalented, but does she do anal? it would be a shame if she bleaches her asshole. it would ruin the whole little brown flower effect. god dosen’t perform miracles for just no reason you know. just sayin.

  41. Nice bird clip, EE. I note that regardless of size, shape, color, or song, they all have the same feet.

  42. My pleasure to serve, Doom. You are absolutely correct on the feet. I’m always amazed that their spindly little feet and legs are able to hold them up.

    Actually, I was amusing myself secretly by “killing two birds with one stone”–the British “birds” (girls from the ’60s like Pattie Boyd) and this particular species of bird’s name, troglodyte mignon. (Etymology: Latin troglodytae, plural, from Greek trOglodytai, from trOgle hole, cave (akin to Greek trOgein to gnaw, Armenian aracem I lead to pasture, graze) + dyein to enter
    1 : a member of a primitive people dwelling in caves
    2 : a person resembling a troglodyte (as in reclusive habits or outmoded or reactionary attitudes)

    Yah… that’s Carla. Look’s like she’s auditioning for Kabuki theatre with all that white pancake make-up!

  43. Ahh, verrrrrry sly EE. The old star star mignon double reverse kabuki entendre.

    You know wrens are so tiny, but pound for pound they are the toughest little bad asses. We have house wrens and Carolina wrens around my place.

  44. GB-
    Was out today doing my “Citizen Forester” volunteer work for a few hours this morning over on Daingerfield Island south of National Airport (I refuse to refer to it as Ronald Reagan NA) on the Potomac. It was very groovy and not nearly as cold as our last workshop/training in early December.

    We were working with and pruning young elm trees that are being grown for the National Mall and the Federal area by the National Park Service. It is criminal what the Bush Admin. did to the NPS in the last 8 years.

    Forget war crimes. For what has happened to our public assets alone during this time these clowns ought to be put on a green chain gang.

    Saw my squirrel-PAC today and those little beasts are getting FAT! I’d better cut back for a while–don’t want ’em to die of a heart attack from hauling all that wait around.

  45. “Ahh, verrrrrry sly EE. The old star star mignon double reverse kabuki entendre.” –St. Bif

    I knew of all people, Bif, you would get it!! % ^ 0

    Especially now that you’re a New Yawker.

  46. I actually can honestly say I know these guys from way back in the Chico College Days. Have a friend who still works for them too.

    In a hippy mood / mode kind of day today and no the kids are still up so none of that.

  47. Hey Roach-

    Thanks for bringing back a long, semi-lost memory!

    Burned this baby up I played it so much…..

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