American Gothic Caption Contest (Part II)

I’ll double the prize. Bunn’s article has been wildly popular, so I’m going to run with it (cheat). I’m going to initiate a scoring system and a season.

This is not Gothic, but Wild West, I think.

2 points for anyone that can name the year, painter, and title. 2 points for each. 10 points if you can get all three first.

stmpd

 

50 points for the best caption.

….

on Dave’s request – 10 points for anyone that can pull a bigger photo. (working on it, Brother, just chill)

I’d give a link to a bigger photo, but they are copyrighting it, and giving away the name at the same time. Bastards.

[illustration updated per EE  :) – SB]

46 Replies to “American Gothic Caption Contest (Part II)”

  1. “run horsey run”?

    i can’t hardly see what’s going on here. i think that’s it’s a fairly famous painting of a pony express guy. now that must have been a tough gig, i think. have you ever spent any appreciable time on a fucking horse? i did until i ended up shooting and eating the fucking thing. thank god for a1 sauce.

  2. “have you ever spent any appreciable time on a fucking horse?”

    Yes, In Nebraska, circa 1982. My Father took us out there to “Meet the Family.”

    They took us horse riding. I fucking loved it, until this beast decided to prance under a thick branch. Luckily I was quick and could duck.

    It’s a tough call.

  3. I haven’t been near a horse since. What are you fucking kidding me? They scare the shit out of me. I’d sooner marry a chimpanzee.

  4. “The Tartars are coming! The Tartars are coming!”

    First guess is Remington, but it seems too dark.

  5. Although the giant asteroid had plowed into the ocean more than 500 miles away, the sky had turned a strange green color within minutes, and lightening was already striking everywhere around him. Slim’s terrified horse bolted, and he found himself caught in the chaotic stampede as the cattle strained in their futile quest to escape the growing cacophony. The earth groaned like a mortally wounded beast. The ground below him heaved violently, and suddenly he was out of his saddle, tumbling head over heals and swept by hot winds upward into the green clouds. With a sudden white flash and crack of a whip, a lightening bolt struck Slim like a firey sword and he instanantaneously disintegrated into a black whif of smoke that lasted but half a second before it dispersed into the green.

  6. “The Tartars are coming! The Tartars are coming!”

    I like that.

    I am as white as could be. My family is as American as could be. My Dad is from Naperville and my Mom from Quincy. In 1964 He joined the Army, She the Peace Corps. They met in Ethiopia.

    I lived most of my life overseas. We moved here in 1976.

    In the 3rd grade my “best friend” got in a tiff with me.

    All of a sudden I heard “The Saudis are coming”, “The Saudis are coming!” from two rows behind me. This was Iran-Hostage time.

    It is about time YOU apologize. Or you will get a sweet wake-up call during your presidential bid. (know what I’m sayin?)

  7. Holmes, are you reading Bif’s stuff? He has gone off the reservation. Completely. I’ve started putting his things into a folder (journal).

    I think I like it.

  8. “Luckily I was quick and could duck.”

    That was a lie.

    It knocked me back and scratched the fuck out of me. It scared the shit out of me.

  9. Bif has been spotted loitering on Southie street corners, dressed as urban youth, rapping that stuff. I think there’s a clip of it on youtube somewhere. Hold on. (Bif, Billy Bob, and Lil’ Wayne are the next spoken word supergroup ready to explode across a moribund industry — as Bunn is my witness.)

  10. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I admit not everyone would want a copy of WMBH. How about, as an alternative prize, an equally pristine condition paperback copy of Jensen’s Endgame Vol. 1?

    (If the winner doesn’t want this book either, then I’ll get creative.)

    I know that some of you don’t buy books, and mostly get your reading materials from the library. Just trying to honor my “super special prize” pledge and save someone a trip to the library.

  11. “Jensen’s Endgame Vol. 1?”

    You are a funny one. Just for that I’m taking out Volume II, Resistance (a fine book) and reading it again.

    Jensen is cool just stick with volume two.

    I’ve never read Volume I. I’m dying to win it.

    Let me just say. No American can consider themself cool without Volume II:Resistance on their shelf (and read). I know Roachman has nothing to worry about when the shit goes down.

  12. I’ll marry Derrick Jensen before I take a dump in the green rain.

    Wait… on second thought… can I have a minute … MOU, that’s just wrong… why do you not give me a chance? …. EE does, Tipping does, even Nudge, even Dave … that’s not fair. I think I might love you.

  13. Biff’s “stories.”

    They are are paragraphs at best.

    I like them, too.

    It’s 10 in the morning, MOU. Is that just coffee?

  14. They are silly stories you monkeys.

    Southie isn’t what it was. I don’t know if I mentioned I got a haircut there a month ago or so. It was a bad haircut. I look like a Mick.

  15. JR,

    More monkey stories…

    You love us chickies when we abuse you or ignore you. If we act like we like you, show you compassion, want to make a soft place for you in our hearts and lives, you could give a shit, you don’t respect us. You wouldn’t respect a woman who would love a guy like you.

    So since I love you, I will heap shit upon you. Then at least you can be comfortable with the affection.

    American Gothic indeed!

  16. Why can’t we just go back to old fashioned Gothic values… like that movie “Midnight in the Garden of the Good Enabler”?

    The kind of girl who worships your every failing, the more abject the better. That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

  17. JR, I don’t give you a chance. You’ve blown about a dozen promises to meet for brunch. I’m restraining myself from lobbing a couple little nukes into town from here. Eh, well, maybe someday the wind will be just perfect to carry the fallout elsewhere.

    MOU wrote: “If we act like we like you, show you compassion, want to make a soft place for you in our hearts and lives, you could give a shit, you don’t respect us. You wouldn’t respect a woman who would love a guy like you.”

    Bingo! Well said :)

  18. Strangely enough, guys usually respond to that kind of thing. I’m showing Asoka a little affection right now, but he’s not responding like a normal male. Huh, maybe he really is metal after all.

  19. Donovan, hi, not sure how familiar you are with Asoka, but right now he’s got his head so far up O’Bammy’s posterior that he thinks he’s seeing bright brown sunshine and it smells absolutely wonderful!

    Unfortunately for Asoka, this means plenty of opportunity to have good fun.

  20. Wheewww… that was a rough nap. Now for a stimulant. (Pushes coffee button.)

    For the record, I desire to be worshiped when I’m succeeding as well.

  21. Are we still doing captions? I kinda like it… but now “I’ve gotta go see a man about a horse”

    I have to say you guys can be awfully boring when I’m not around. Why is that?

    Hey MOU! Chicky, where have you been? I just deleted twenty or so websites related to SES and post-traumatic stress disorder.

  22. The title of that famous Remington painting is called “Stampede”. I did not cheat and look it up. It is done on recall only and the fact that the rider is in big hurry, and no, not to deliver the latest global crude oil production numbers to JR ala the Pony Express. Although the artist (no, not Prince) did indeed paint those scenes as well, with descriptive titles like “Pony Express”. Also, note the lightening bolt, which has started all the fun with its booming sound, the fact the painting is dark, like it’s about to storm, and the spooked looking cattle, also running or about to. The rider is desperately trying to get in front of the cattle to divert herd or halt the stampede before it gets out of control, an apt metaphor of the Obama administration’s crude and futile efforts to control the spiraling global economic downturn, the president riding his trusty steed named “asoka” to the rescue.

  23. I see that EE has already posted the answer, above. You’ll just have to trust me that I did not read her comment until now. Damn, I was looking forward to my free case of Depends.

  24. Doom-

    You should know I’m very generous; I’ll split the Depends with you!

    Also, I had the unfair advantage of being brainwashed from an early age regarding FR, probably the only culture within a hundred-mile radius! Not to mention, the National Gallery (see my above link) had a show of Remington’s night paintings three or four years ago and that piece was in it–one of my faves because of the lightning (my only remaining addiction).

  25. JR-

    Follow my link to the Nat Gallery pix and just copy the jpeg if you want a bigger pix… by-the-bye, I just clicked on your little jpeg and it’s named “remstam.jpg”….

  26. “You wouldn’t respect a woman who would love a guy like you.”–MOU

    “I wouldn’t want to be a member of any club that would have me as a member”– Woody Allen

  27. EE, here is one I saw in the Houston museum of art. “Waterhole”. The original is very large and dramatic in its display. I’m not into wild west art, but I liked it.

    FYI. Our family is taking a train trip to Manhattan next week, and we are doing the museums. Looking forward to it.

  28. EE,

    Thanks for that link and I agree with you “End of the Day” is in the top 5, along with Stampede.

    Been to the Gilcrease, but it has been awhile and don’t actually recall what works of Remingtons were on display at the time.

  29. Bif-

    Thanks for that pic–I don’t think I’ve ever seen that painting of FR’s. But it is very “modern” in its execution, IMHO. I also really like the colors and the reflection of the sky in the watering hole. He did become a master colorist in his later paintings and I can appreciate his growth much more as my tastes have changed.

    It’s interesting, but I’ve always thought of Remington more as a sculptor than as a painter. I think there’s a Remington bronze currently in the Oval Office (left there by “W”).

    This one’s dedicated to the Four Horsemen of ZK, “Coming through the Rye”….

    http://www.cartermuseum.org/works-of-art/1961-23

  30. Donovan-

    Never been to OK, much less the Gilcrease but I do love the idea of museums and the concept of “art” and/or exhibitions. I would love to visit the Getty Museum in LA one day.

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