A Message From Holmes

[Editor’s Note: Is he doing “it”? He’s doing something. 200 Proof Frivolity. I have perfectly good justification for being angry right now (as he entirely ignored my suggested URL: bunnbunntheomnipotent.god), but a proper tantrum just isn’t worth the aura-sullying collateral damage. The list of bands is one of his most epic and time-consumptive debacles to date. What in the hell is it? It’s not a blog, I can tell you that much. Holmes even went to the trouble of learning how to use an HTML editor to put this thing together, so let’s just hear him out already! ~BB]

Dear Friends,

In my spare time, over the last several months, I have been putting together a website (holmes-i-presume.com). The website pertains to things that interest me, with no particular limits in this regard, and embodies my initial experimentations with providing an electronic publishing service/platform. Additionally, I wanted to create a place to “park” content and an interface through which posted materials can be easily located and retrieved. In other aspects, the existential charter of this website is decidedly less clear.

Best regards,
Holmes

45 Replies to “A Message From Holmes”

  1. Holmes, I took a quick peek. The blog looks nice and is interesting. Congrats to you and the rabbit. You are one of the most interesting law guys I’ve met. Most of them are nice, but not all are interesting. I guess much the same could be said for the folks I hang with. I will probably be out your way again this summer. If so, it would be good to get together, maybe with bunnbunn too.

  2. My ex-brother-in-law used to own a new Dodge Challenger like the one in the chase scene in Bullet–the bad guys’ car. I was cool, a real muscle car.

    But the Mustang was even cooler. My first boss had one, I think a 1967 Mustang with grey primer paint and a suspension, tuned dual exhaust. We used to close the restaurant at 3 AM. I would stand in the parking lot and watch and listen as he drove that baby away.

    McQueen’s Mustang was dark racing green, with a suspension and exhaust system. Obviously a Cobra V8 under the hood.

  3. wow holmes, you do have way too much fucking time on your hands. that’s a good thing by-the-way. me? i’m always busy as a fucking beaver. or is that i’m busy fucking beavers? something like that anyway.

    just no teeth. that’s what i always say. no really, i say that a lot.

  4. Doom, like the rabbit says, it’s not a blog. Maybe dave’ s description is best; it’s a “thing”.

    dave, if I appear to have unlimited time for fooling around, then I must be doing something right. There’s probably an old saying or proverb about moving a mountain one spoon at a time or some such thing… maybe that’s applicable here. Regardless, eventually a person, if he’s lucky, finally hits the publish button (or not) and mercifully moves on to something else that provides a better ratio of thrills per unit of time.

  5. Very cool Holmes. Nice looking site. Haven’t had a chance to thoroughly explore yet, but I will. Over time you could build an interesting archive. I hope to do something like this one day, but primarily for showing my photos. I have so much to share!

  6. I hope you boys get to keep your internet for awhile longer. I think lots of spare time will be going the way of the Chrysler muscle cars. Too bad.

  7. Uncle Remus, I’m going to guess that it’s a real one, but you just can’t be too sure about too much of anything.

    http://www.exchange3d.com/cubecart/animals-and-plants/bonsai-tree-3d-model/prod_11081.html

    Bif, thanks! Putting together a website for sharing decades of photos would be a massive undertaking. You better get started now! (Besides I really want to see them.)

    Doom, yeah, enjoy it all while you can. That’s the plan, amigo. See you in a few months… looking forward to it.

  8. Yeah, that’s a real bonsai tree. I was considering saying something profound about those hominids* who tend them, but then I realized that some asshole somewhere has already written like three books on the subject, with photos, so cool, I’ll drink moron coffee and do something else with my copious spare time.

    * And I sincerely hope I have not offended any subspecies by call them hominids, per Patz the Asshole on CFN.

  9. Holmes,

    From The Bunn: “Perhaps also by way of explanatory comment, Bunn Bunn often asserts that “[w]ithout delusions of grandeur, there can be no love or art.”

    Correct. I think you can expand that sentiment to all hominid endeavours. Was Alexander the Great a humble guy? Why should he be?

  10. Holmes, I don’t understand, I noticed you left Meatloaf off your Top 10.

    I’m glad you have The Smiths/Morrissey in there. If I made a top 10 I would include them as well. Sadly the vid for “Stop Me if You’ve Heard this One Before” was taken down by the Youtube police.

    A really good live Dead show on archive.org is Cornell Univ – May 1977.

    http://www.archive.org/details/gd77-05-08.sbd.hicks.4982.sbeok.shnf

    In the Cornell show, ‘Scarlet Begonias into Fire on the Mountain’ is best ever. I am not joking. Half hour long though, but sound is really good, so you can blast this one (which I strongly recommend). You won’t be sorry.

    I was just kidding about Meatloaf.

  11. SB, I just listened to the gd77-05-07 Boston show linked a few days ago by jim e. Garcia was certainly in good voice, which probably is true for the beloved Cornell show too. I’ll check it out. I generally avoid post ’74 but the best ever ‘Scarlet Begonias into Fire on the Mountain’ has to be seriously considered.

    Youtube links are definitely a moving target. I have no idea what will be available in six months, maybe more and better links still, or maybe fewer. A lot of the links I found are quite new. And some of the videos I had never seen before. With so many cover and tribute bands out there, it really is sometimes a challenge to find the real article — one of the reasons I decided to make these lists in the first place. I’m not aware of anyone else who has done this. But obviously it’s going to require updates from time to time.

  12. Holmes. Here’s some older stuff I like because its a little different from the myriad of recordings.

    Filmore Auditorium, San Francisco, Nov 1966.
    http://www.archive.org/details/gd66-11-19.sbd.seff.41.sbeok.shnf

    Fox Theater, St. Louis, Oct 1972.
    http://www.archive.org/details/gd72-10-18.sbd.weir.7295.sbeok.shnf
    This one is different because it was mixed to emphasize Weir’s guitar more, and toning down Jerry’s guitar somewhat, making the songs more rhythmy. Reportedly it was mixed by Weir’s brother-in-law, hence the spotlight on Bob.

    Wake of the Flood (studio outtakes), Aug 1973.
    http://www.archive.org/details/gd73-08-xx.sbd-wotf.davef.2522.sbeok.shnf

    As a mater of fact, the Boston 5/77 show you were listening to was the first time I saw them. Three shows in three nights. Boston, Cornell and Buffalo. I can’t say I remember song details but I do remember a freak late-spring snow storm the night they played in Ithaca, and my car breaking down on way to Buffalo (leaving me out in the cold rain and snow, haha). I also remember at Cornell, Weir trying to enforce some crowd control between songs and asking people to back away from the stage. This comes through on the live recording. Also a friend of mine was trampled in the doorway entrance at Boston and badly bruised his ribs. Ah. Good times.

  13. Holmes,

    So this is what you were up to. Hmmm. Nice looking site. I like how you used Bun’s image. Will need to see what gets up in that monkey room!

    You could have a whole spread of nothing but BunnBunn pictures. Pictures of a Godling? You know us worshipers would be printing them off by the thousands and handing them out and proselytizing. But if you did all that, would it make your web composition too Lopp sited?

    Nice work.

  14. Morrissey ranked higher than Elvis. Heh heh. Perfect.

    Holmes, would you consider Prince to be in, say, the top 20? I mean in the visionary category and all. Another unresolved matter is Hendrix.

  15. So I will go on about this.

    I like how you took BunnBunns colors and played with matching them in your color pallet for your layout. Bunns range of greyish casts pick up in the highlights and lowlights of the silvers, the counters pick up the warmer tones in his fur, even the slate picks up his eye. Very nice.

    Holmes, I bet you are a sharp dresser when you need to be.

  16. “Holmes, I bet you are a sharp dresser when you need to be.”

    He’s a friggin lawyer, what do you think?

    Which reminds me of a true story….about a dressed up lawyer….that I met once.

    When I was 20, I was involved in an industrial accident, being the baloney in a 4-ton pipe sandwich, and ruptured my spleen, bruised a kidney, etc. So, we sued the bastards that I worked for at the time for negligence. During the depositions, I was grilled by the company lawyer, a lawyer for Kaiser Steel, and a lawyer for the Union Pacific railroad. The steel and railroad co. lawyers were there because the pipe was made by Kaiser and transported by Union Pacific railroad. The key was who packed the pipe so negligently to cause the accident.

    This is when I truly discovered the meaning of the phrase “Clothes make the man”. The Union Pacific railroad lawyer was awesome. I could not keep from staring at him. He was the oldest lawyer present in the room, with speckled gray hair, and had a commanding aura and voice. He was dressed in a gray pin-striped, three-piece suit and he had a gold watch chain hanging from his vest pocket. He asked me the fewest questions but was direct, and was one of the first lawyers to leave the proceedings.

    The other two lawyers had more questions and eventually we took the Kaiser lawyer to trial. He was smart too, in that he underdressed for the trial, and wore a thin, almost threadbare suit to court. My lawyer was sharp, made all the right moves, but overdressed, perhaps as a result of our deposition with the Union Pacific lawyer. The jury was lower middle class workers form the region. I thought the Kaiser lawyer was very sly, and we nearly lost the case. In fact, we got a pretty low settlement for a case that had bullet-proof evidence of negligence and a fair amount of pain and suffering on my part, having almost died and spending about a month in the hospital. The End.

  17. Hey Doom.

    Sorry the case went that way. It sounds like it changed your life in a lot of ways. Lots of lessons we get are almost too expensive.

    On the other hand, aren’t ERs amazing? I have seen my husband pretty broken up twice now. Scary. They fixed him both times.

    Don’t get any of that Caucasian pie on your suit, okay?

  18. Doom. Wooah, I sometimes worked around large diameter pipe in my early oil and gas days. If it starts moving and gets you, you are lucky to be alive. I remember the welders would join up a big long section maybe 600 or 800 feet long and have it up on wood chocks waiting to be lowered into the ditch with side boom cats. It might sit a couple days. From the early morning until afternoon a pipe section like that would heat in the sun and actually expand a foot or more in length. This expansion/contraction could move it around on the wood chocks and things could become unstable. I kept my distance. They said never get between the pipe and the ditch and I followed that advice.

  19. Speaking of color sense, during my afternoon patrol, I noticed that Holmes had tried to stealthily lay out his gold pants and purple socks for tomorrow thinking that I wouldn’t notice. I’ll discretely replace them with something less wizard-like. By morning, he’ll be onto something else and none the wiser.

  20. Bif, I’m glad this got you fired up to share some of your GD opinions and resources. I’m keeping a file on everything you and anyone else contributes on this topic. As someone once said (or should have if they didn’t), there’s no shame in sitting at the feet of a master especially when internet-disseminated collective intelligence insidiously steers even some of the most energetic students toward mediocrity and generally presents a hazard to independent assessment.

  21. Oh, and I forgot to mention this tiny detail in my story: the Union Pacific lawyer smoked Kent filter cigarettes. Even in 1970, it was a strange brand choice for a smoker. I also recall he asked my lawyer for permission to smoke during the deposition.

  22. Bif, you are correct about the rolling pipe. It was a summer job in college and the pay was good. During the 2.5 months I worked there, one worker was killed by being hit from behind by a large rolling gas pipe (silent killers) and one morning they found a hobo’s dead body who had stupidly decided to hide/sleep among (but not within) the stacked pipe on a railroad flatcar. At some point during the trip to our company’s yard, the pipes had shifted on the car and squeezed him to death.

    It was a dangerous place to work, obviously. I had given them my two weeks’ notice and was hit during my last work week there.

  23. You know what they say. Steel is real. Its too bad you got nailed and had to go through that.

    So reading this thread I’m imagining a dapper Holmes and Doom with a limp.

    Holmes, I think the Mercury News article is right that there is something in the old Dead tapes for everyone and it comes down to in what way you relate to any of the various phases of their musical evolution. What strikes you is personal.

    Sometimes things work out. 2300 concerts, 2200 of them recorded. Internet makes them available with a couple clicks. Who would’ve thought? Sometimes Black Swans are good.

  24. JR, you took down your Spanish GP picks before I could compare them to the race result.

    Anyway, how did Ferrari become so badly managed all of a sudden? I would grant you that none of the problems this year have been because of Massa. Its not bad luck either. Ferrari is getting totally aced out in strategy and execution.

    Everyone needs a kick in the pants from time to time I guess.

  25. i guess you should down load thier shit before thier fuckin’ lawyers sue the living shit out of everyone, cocksucers.

  26. dave, what do you call 5,000 lawyers chained to the bottom of the ocean?

    ….a good start.

  27. what’s the difference between a dead lawer laying in the road and a dead snake laying in the road?

    …there’s skid marks in front of the snake.

  28. Holmes-

    Never having been to LA in my life, I may just have to come out there and throttle you for adding one more tantalizing net object to suck up what little is left of my intellect and time.

    So far, I have only made it as far as Bowie and Queen, which inevitably leads me to hours of Bowie performances, Freddy Mercury performances (especially with Montserrat Caballé at the Barcelona Olympics), Annie Lennox with Bowie at the FM Tribute performing “Pressure,” and Annie Lennox in all of her glorious performances.

    For all of his self-professed godliness, bunnbunn has done a piss-poor job of keeping you in line, IMHO.

  29. Yeah, yeah, yeah… we’ve only heard that one about a million times. The kill all the lawyers stuff is practically like oxygen to that tribe. Without the notoriousness, ability to engender supernatural levels of dread in the common prole, and the beloved rubber chicken dinners (typically served at continuing legal education seminars [or so my sources say]), who but an unmitigated prat would even go into such a line of work?

    “Take away paradox from the thinker and you have a professor.”
    — Soren Kierkegaard

    Just kidding, Doom! We, and I mean ALL of us, love you unconditionally. Now get out there and bend some wide diameter pipe into a bow tie shape or do some other magic trick for the children. Their attention span is sometimes very short, you know.

  30. I guess you did fire me up Holmes. Between yesterday and today I’ve spent at least a couple hours searching the intertubes for accounts of Cornell 1977. There sure are plenty. I’m finding ample arguments that the show, although excellent, has achieved its mythical status probably more from the quality of early available tapes and that these multiplied like rabbits in the tape trading community, and before many other high quality tapes of other shows came onto the scene. Years later as Betty Board and other quality tapes entered the trading market, it could be argued that there were other shows, just as epic, just as incredible. 1972-1974 must have been unbelievable, but were before my time. These were the 75-ton Wall of Sound years, producing 26,00 watts, effective to a half mile (I looked this up). All valid. But that sound didn’t translate in its full glory to the tapes. So say stoners of the period. What do you want from a Dead tape? But by then Cornell 1977 was firmly attached up on its pedestal. Listen to it! How could you take it down, my God. Put one up there next to it maybe, but you can’t take it down. It is a work of musical art. The Cornell ‘Morning Dew’ is so good it leaves the audience nearly silent and then spontaneously unglued at its conclusion. Women fainted. Men wept. Then there’s ‘Dancing in the Streets’ which involves Garcia solos that are not possible by a human with nine and a half fingers, and guitar noises that could never be replicated unless Hendrix came back from the dead. The really big feature on this tape is the transition from Scarlet Begonias into Fire on the Mountain. It is this ten minute segment within a half hour journey that makes the show legendary in my opinion, and there are apparently thousands of stoners who agree. Its absolutely seemless, and hypnotic, you don’t even know where and how it happened. Its perfect. It is a masterpiece. Scarlet into Fire.

    The funny thing is I was there and don’t remember it as being head and shoulders above any other show I saw at the time. It was a special show of course. I remember I had fun, I loved it. But I can’t say 32 years later I recall recognizing these perfect musical moments at any time. However the tape proves I did in fact dance all night to some really good tunes! I squint real hard and try to remember. (They served beer in big clear plastic cups – I remember that!)

    Funny thing too is I read about how everyone came out of the show that night into falling snow, catching snowflakes on their tongues. I swear I remember it was raining, not snowing, when we came out of the show, and that I didn’t see any snow until the next morning when I woke up. I could be wrong, and this could cause an internet controversy. Either way, a bunch of snow in mid May was a big surprise, that’s a fact.

    So yesterday I’m on the phone with my mom wishing her happy mothers day, and I say, mom, in 1977 I was at the Dead show on mothers day, did I call you? and she says without hesitation, yes, you always called me. And I say, mom, how can you be so sure? and she says, I remember. Well how come I don’t remember these things?

    And finally, dear ZK peeps and lurkers everywhere, I wish to deadicate Cornell 77 to my dearest road friend who was there with me and our friends that night, and who has since passed away. I miss him. This tape always makes me think of my long lost bud when I hear it, and so it will always be the best Dead show ever!

  31. Bravo, Bif! You’re forcing me to attempt a similar memory reconstruction project, in this instance, pertaining to the Dylan and The Dead show that I was at in L.A. in 1987. The setlist…

    http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~mleone/gdead/dead-sets/87/7-26-87.txt

    The music was central, of course, and the main attraction. At the same time, it seemed almost like background entertainment to a 4th of July picnic perpetrated at stadium scale. In all seriousness, I’ve never participated in a more American event. I guess you could say that I now more thoroughly appreciated, warts and all, a brilliant aspect of what this country might really be about under certain idealized circumstances. This realization was immediate and contemporaneous.

    At some level, it seemed absurd, watching Jerry and Bob tune interminably, the crowd knowing about how long this was supposed to go on for and/or not giving a hoot. Bob Dylan was utterly incomprehensible, but so was Jerry. It just didn’t matter, everyone was on board regardless, and these things in no small part contributed to what made it great.

  32. I saw the GD and Bob Dylan at Sullivan Stadium, July 4, 1987. It was cool to hear Dylan and the Dead together, but the acoustics sucked, sound bouncing all around. But Dead shows weren’t so much about the music, as about the whole experience.

    My other Dead concert was UMass Spring Concert,May 12, 1979. Much better show, the Boston Phoenix (local alt paper) rates it as one of the best 40 concerts in Boston, I see upon googling. Patty Smith opened for them! She told a charming story about getting kicked out from backstage at a Dead concert. I had a great job at the time, projecting films and handing out the film dept.’s equipment to student film makers. Guess who checked out the Nagra reel-to-reel tape recorder that week-end?
    http://www.retrothing.com/2006/01/modern_nagra_42.html
    Like Jules in “Diva” said, “C’est un Nagra. C’est suisse, et tres, tres precis”,
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082269/
    this was a several thousand dollar(in the 70’s)professional piece of equipment. Too bad I didn’t have a better microphone, but I did get a fair recording.
    Nothing like 15,000 college kids on shrooms or Vitamin A. They say you could hear the concert al the way to Sunderland.

  33. Nice one AU. Its all good. I saw Dead and Dylan in Eugene OR, right after you and before Holmes. Glad we were able to pass them around the horn without incident.

    Many moons ago on CFN I told Holmes this: By coincidence I was working for a couple weeks in the vicinity when the Dead and Dylan show came to Eugene, and people I was working with were nice and got me a ticket. I was amazed how everyone lined up in single file and were so orderly and patient in entering the stadium gates. West coast, what a contrast. (On the east coast we went into shows like barbarians in a scene out of Braveheart.)

    The other thing about this show is a skywriting plane spelled “Impeach Reagan” in the sky over the stadium. Everyone cheered and laughed. What a country.

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