¿Por qué no te callas? (STFU)

Chavez. Alo Presidente. The man is a megalomaniac. He WILL NOT shut up. Recently he was told by his doctors to shut up, lest he damage his vocal cords and throat. He laughed it off and talked and sang for three hours. When he speaks in public or on his television show he can go four or five hours, no problem. When he’s talking on TV they hang out of their windows in Caracas and beat pots and pans together. I’m surprised more of them don’t jump.

Back in 2007 at the Chilean Summit there was the incident where Spain’s King Juan Carlos couldn’t take it anymore and leaned across the table and told Chavez to “shut up”.

Then Sean Penn emerges from his audience last fall with Chavez and (like the Dennis Hopper character in Apocalypse Now) tells with pride how the man spoke to him for hours. What a joke. He wouldn’t shut up. What’s new?

Speaking of jokes, the story goes that after being kidnapped in the failed coup against him in 2002 Chavez amazed the world by suddenly becoming free of his captors. Well turns out they turned him loose because he wouldn’t shut the fuck up.

Now there’s this. Beginning tomorrow, Senor Chavismo will perform a television marathon only Jerry Lewis could admire. The presidente will speak and sing stfufor four days and nights.

Songs and sackings expected on four-day Chávez talkshow

He is expected to interview guests, sing, recount childhood anecdotes, dissect foreign and domestic policy, recite quotations, muse on Latin American history, maybe hire and fire government officials, all without a teleprompter or script.

Every channel, he will be there. Day after day after day after day. No soccer, no baseball, no soap operas, just Alo Presidente. By the millions they will be begging their televisions for him to shut up. But he won’t.

OK. Super special prize for first one here to correctly provide Chavez nickname for Bush.

8 Replies to “¿Por qué no te callas? (STFU)”

  1. Mr Google knows the nickname.

    Chavez is emulating his hero Castro, in being longwinded. Chavez is typical of these political types. At first, he’s great- feeding the hungry, building schools, hospitals, etc. Then, they go bananas, ordering everyone to do weird shit like wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes.

  2. Ya gotta admit those remarks about the sulfur smell at the lectern were pretty funny. What a stand up commodian!

    “The devil came here yesterday,” Chavez said, referring to Bush, who addressed the world body during its annual meeting Tuesday. “And it smells of sulfur still today.”

    “Chavez accused Bush of having spoken “as if he owned the world” and said a psychiatrist could be called to analyze the statement.”

    “As the spokesman of imperialism, he came to share his nostrums to try to preserve the current pattern of domination, exploitation and pillage of the peoples of the world. An Alfred Hitchcock movie could use it as a scenario. I would even propose a title: ‘The Devil’s Recipe.’ ”

  3. Embedding disabled by request? WTF? Who’s request?

    Nevermind, this new 2008 trailer is not worthy of the classic film.

  4. D3PO, that guy is to the toy world what Michael Moore is to the history-and-politics world. It would be too funny to seat him next to Jimbo on a plane and see how they get on.

    Couldn’t they relabel the Bratz dolls “Slutz” instead? Would be a little more accurate.

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