Women of ACORN (Take 2)

[Okay, I’m going to try this one more time. Maybe this time JR’s delicate sensibilities won’t be offended.]

I been saying to Homey, if we can’t submit thal as Exhibit “A” or get GB to do some hand-stand push ups for the ladies, then we’re going to have to toss some cool terminology around in the proposal — something like “progressive redistribution of wealth” or “lagomorph-to-monkey telekinetic interface protocol optimization studies directed toward green energy development and jobs creation” or “equal protection under the law for bald-headed fucks who have the audacity to leverage an embarrassing modernism such as ‘man up’ off a poorly formed homage to HST’s classic quote about ‘good men dying like dogs…’ “.

I got’s a sense of humor. Just as much as Ozzy and his fire hose on the Sunset Strip the other night. Not a commodeian?!? How dare you, sir! I won’t take this lying down. My union representatives shill be informed in due coarse.

I am alone in this godforsaken douchebag wilderness. But at least I can count on EE to soon tell me that the following video is just another scam perpetrated by right wing agents in opposition to the counterrevolution. (Only thal can save us now.)

“Let me make sure there’s a code for it, okay?”

46 Replies to “Women of ACORN (Take 2)”

  1. I wish I could watch that and say Obama is screwed. The way all this goes these days, no one gives a shit.

    It’s raining outside here bunnbunn. My cantaloupes all burst because of too much moisture.

    There is a metaphor in here somewhere.

  2. Burst melons or otherwise, you are a welcomed oasis!

    But you’re right about most not giving a shit. I think it’s the new independent, err, I should say independent industrial product. (Hat’s off to dave. And best of luck to you, Joohn Ree. As a prey animal myself, I can only say stay coated in a slippery substance at all times to easily extricate yourself from dave’s dad’s crypt-flavored grasp.)

  3. i think it was made by libertarians as proof that right wing repubs have been much too easy on bho, thus allowing such activities to take place. ron paul is tired of being marginalized by the right wing. really? i tried to watch it at least 3 times and could never get past the first 2 minutes or so. chaulk me up as not giving a shit, i guess.

    my only substantive comment is that the woman who played the prostitute(?) was much too old for the part. 15 max, that’s what i say. and white? yeah, definately made by the libertarians.

  4. Bunn-

    Baltimore used to be about 15-20 years behind DC in terms of the social cycle but it looks like the city is catching up.

    In DC in the 1980s and 1990s, the employees WERE the prostitutes and the drug dealers. (Remember Marion Barry, who’s still on the DC Council?)

    It was a good sign that these ACORN ladies are there to help these young entrepreneurs with their venture. It’s all about jobs, man.

  5. Last night I had a vivid dream (but not of the Tipping Point campground variety, sadly), and I saw an old Chinese guy in a John Lennon t-shirt. This morning I’m walking down 6th Ave (Manhattan midtown) and I do a double take and there’s an old Chinese guy and he sure as hell is wearing the Walrus alright. He looked right at me as if he’d seen a Cossack, like a dejas vu from the underworld. Well, that’s a bit of an exageration. Actually he looked somewhat indifferent. But still, he looked right at me. And I thought, why of all things… this? If my future is to be forshadowed in such a manner, why couldn’t I have dreamt about a nice set of bursting cantelopes instead? Stay tuned, I don’t know about you, but these sorts of time warp “events” (although rare) tend to drift my way in waves.

  6. Bunn, I don’t know what I said. I apologize unconditionally. My life is a nightmare I’m torn between an illegal immigrant and a half-hearted wish to get sober. I’m living the worst of all worlds.

    I’m sorry. I honestly have no recollection of anything I said. That’s called a blackout. I’m a real alcoholic.

  7. I keep seeing fruit-flies in my lemonade(and vodka). After I swallow. When I look down they are not there anymore.

    Because they were never there? Or because I swallowed them?

  8. That’s some fucked up shit, Bif. That happens to me every day…. the cantelopes, I mean. Not the Chinese guy stuff.

    John Lennon? Bif? Are you okay. I think you might need some help.

  9. Holy shit. I was just thinking about this. I was thinking about fruit flies, I was thinking about gold, I was thinking about cantelopes and the world’s biggest necklace. This is getting weird. It raises questions of random vs intentional and comes right out of what Taleb lifted from Benoît Mandelbrot, who was known to a mad man named Paul Pierre Levy. Do you know that the Levy-flight of fruit flies is a result of random/unpredictable events turned high consequence (in your case), and stands as a living example of heavy-tailed probability distribution which in turn led to monte carlo methods for weighing financial risk? I kid you not.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%C3%A9vy_flight

  10. Are Moldovans basically fruit flies, and you are lemon pulp? If not, why the chaos? Or is it not chaos but rather something so complex we aren’t smart enough to see the inevitability? We could be onto something vodka boy. I will go back down 6th and ask the Chinese guy these questions. I have a feeling this will all come together soon, but it may cost me a few bucks.

  11. I’m trying to see where Lennon fits in to this before I go. Here’s what I found. It took two seconds. My instincts are pretty good. The law suit that ended The Beatles was filed in December 1971, the same year and month Paul Pierre Levy died. Coincidence? I had a sense this could have been the case before I even looked it up. Why? I must go find this Chinese man. I have a feeling he can explain everything. But my God, this is NYC! Like I said, it could take awhile.

  12. At first I kinda laughed, but it’s disturbing how many truly fucked up people there are. Just another example of why I hate everyone.

    Oh and Bif, I just spent $1200 on a new mattress so I could rid myself of my weird dreams yet somehow two nights ago I had to fight off an alien species attempting to take over humans through a virus. It was quite disgusting- once you were fully infected your chest would split open, your body would be turned inside out and were transformed into a pig like alien monster thing. They got my husband but I got away! Every night is another adventure in my fucked up dreamland. btw, I never have these dreams if I was drinking so it’s not that.

  13. Bif, forgive me for underestimating your capacity for belligerence. Now you apologize to JR for something and we can call the books balanced.

  14. It’s hard. Paranormal convergence I mean. In a NY hotel, the worst place. The mixed drinks here are $19. Each. I am sorry. Listen to me, I sound like Kayne West. Or worse, Joe Wilson.

  15. Even with a fever I don’t think I ever had dreams in the league of yours Tip. There are reasons why the mind continues to race after going to sleep. You have to find and eliminate whatever it is. For me it was coffee and I consume less of it now. Physical adjustments like that are easier than dealing with emotional issues of course. I hope you find a way to sleep more peacefully and have pleasant dreams.

  16. I hope to God they’re at least doubles if not triples. Must be one fancy hotel.

    Let me guess, they want a tip also.

  17. $19 for mixed drinks????? Ahh yes, that’s NYC. Why I abhor the insane expense of the place, I of course try hard to get invited down to Gotham City for business purposes, some of which might include meals out with customers.

    Hope you find enjoyable things to do there :)

  18. I ask myself these same questions, Bif.

    She’s the smartest woman I have ever met. So that would potentially be the smartest thing I would ever fuck.

    You could take Nudge, Tipping, EE, MOU and every other female on this planet and put them through a female sausage grinder. Then maybe add some tomato and spices, and wrap it all in a Lauren Bacall/Belladonna crepe – and it still wouldn’t be able to have the conversations this one does.

    Maybe it’s me. Maybe there is just something in me that brings it out of her.

    But like Nudge says. I objectify women. Plus she probably has some weird hocus pocus ancient Moldovan witchcraft working on my tookie. So you never can be too sure what I’m really thinking.

  19. “She’s the smartest woman I have ever met.”

    Now thats something. Those are definitely fighting words. In that case you should probably cut the shit and go take care of business. You probably need little more advice as far as that goes. But I will give you some anyway…

    Combine Nudge, Tipping, EE, MOU? Why not just go stare at the sun?

  20. Yup, he’s in love alright, you can tell by how his IQ has lowered itself by about 40 points.

    JR, did I ever tell you about how men have two brains, but only enough intelligence to share between them?

  21. Nudge: “Oh, I can’t resist this one ..

    “She’s the smartest woman I have ever met.”

    Somebody really needs to get out more often.”

    Ruff translation: My new GF is almost as smart as my dog!

    (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

  22. Ha Ha

    http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2009_09/020067.php
    CAUGHT IN THE ACORN NET…. It no doubt seemed like a good idea at the time. Republican lawmakers intended to stop federal funds that might go to ACORN, wrote a measure that blocked expenditures for “any organization that has filed a fraudulent form with any Federal or State regulatory agency.”

    Because ACORN has experienced problems with voter-registration efforts, proponents found it an easy way to block funding for the group without being explicit about the intended target. The problem, as Ryan Grim reports, is that the provision also applies to entities Republican lawmakers want to give federal funds to.

    The congressional legislation intended to defund ACORN, passed with broad bipartisan support, is written so broadly that it applies to “any organization” that has been charged with breaking federal or state election laws, lobbying disclosure laws, campaign finance laws or filing fraudulent paperwork with any federal or state agency. It also applies to any of the employees, contractors or other folks affiliated with a group charged with any of those things.

    In other words, the bill could plausibly defund the entire military-industrial complex. Whoops.

    Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) picked up on the legislative overreach and asked the Project on Government Oversight (POGO) to sift through its database to find which contractors might be caught in the ACORN net.

    Lockheed Martin and Northrop Gumman both popped up quickly, with 20 fraud cases between them, and the longer list is a Who’s Who of weapons manufacturers and defense contractors.

    Oops.

    The next question, of course, is why ACORN’s problems with voter-registration materials are extremely important, while Lockheed Martin’s and Northrop Gumman’s bad habits are not only considered uninteresting — to conservatives, to lawmakers, to news outlets — but largely verboten as a topic of conversation.

    —Steve Benen

  23. Woops is right. Reactionary legislation does it again! Hahahaha.

    Of course ACORN is a bunch of assholes and needs to get whacked, but they were only about $3.5 million/yr in federal funds. Big woopdeedoo. The legislation is a great opportunity now to work our way up to the big white ACORN (so to speak) muthafuckas! The place where trillions of $$$ go!

    Well I shouldn’t get excited. I’m sure an emergency session has already taken place, apologies for the inconvenience have been extended, and the damage control and work-around strategies are already in motion.

  24. Yeah, GB, it’s huge here in DC. I was thinking of you on Sunday when I went down the street to gather about 5 pounds of Sawtooth Oak acorns (which didn’t begin to make a dent). Luckily I had a baseball cap on because the nuts were dropping out of the trees the entire time I was there. And they are BIG this year.

    My guess is all the rain we had up until mid-July created this bumper crop after last year’s acorn drought.

  25. I noticed a second growth of new bright green leaves this summer on oak trees, after the spring leafing out. It rain 23 days in july here.

  26. Yep, a sort of cool, wet growing season, tweren’t it? If it weren’t for a mini heat wave (three days of 90*+) in late August, my newly-planted persimmon tree would not have leafed out all year. A last blast of heat put the buds into action. How’s that for late leafing out?

    A hat for falling acorns is a good idea, EE. Collecting them for squirrel food later?

  27. Having recently bought a house I am the proud owner of a big old black walnut tree. Wow does this thing produce, but what a mess. Also, I think you burn as many calories breaking open walnuts as you get back from them.

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